Okay, so we know that “what we think about, we bring about” and that our happiness is closely linked to what thoughts we allow in our minds. In my experience, when most people hear about this, they have one of three reactions;
1. It rings as true, a light is switched on and the person feels powerful. These people, although they will also face challenges, they have the best chance because they BELIEVE.
2. Some think it’s nonsense and don’t even bother to try (and let’s face it, if you don’t believe it’s going to work, well then it won’t). There is still hope for these people, they are just not ready for these truths, and they have every right to think the way they do.
3. Then there are those who are sceptical, but decide it’s worth a shot. These are the people I am talking to here.
So if you decide to take control of your life, you start by placing positive thoughts into your mind. You tell the bad thoughts to go away. You use whatever methods you have read about in books like “The Secret” or “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L Hay. You say positive affirmations and visualise what you want to create in your life. This Stage, the first attempts, is in my opinion the most vital stage. Starting is always the most difficult part, and it’s the part where you decide if it works or not.
I have seen so many people decide to start to think positively, and then they give up the next time they have a negative thought. This means they have tried for a total of one to three seconds. Negativity enters and they surrender to it. They give up at the first sign of difficulty. People are willing to invest their money long term with the hope that it will grow, but refuse to invest long term in themselves, in their own happiness. It is certainly not money that will make a person happy. If you are plagued with resentment you will never be able to enjoy the wealth you have accumulated.
So why do so many people give up? Well I believe it has much to do with the nature of how we think (this concept is well explained in “the Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle). The majority of us use our logical side of our brain the most, opposed to the creative side of the brain. This side of the brain functions as a problem solver. It seeks out problems and then tries to solve them. This is why it is so easy for you to see the “bad” things in the world. When you notice yourself seeking out imperfections, just acknowledge that your brain is looking for problems. Don’t get angry with yourself, this is a negative reaction. Instead say to yourself;
“It’s okay, I understand I’m just looking for problems, I forgive myself and I release the bad thoughts. I focus now on what is good. I claim my power.”
Look around, and find something positive. You can look to happy memories, or even think about someone you love. You can look at your immediate environment and seek out things to be grateful for. There is always plenty to be grateful for; the air you are breathing, the body you live in, the people in your life, your clothes, your free will, your home. Gratitude is one of the best routes to happiness, but it cannot function alone.
The best advice I can give you in becoming a positive thinker is “LET GO”. In the great infinity of life, whatever has happened, well it’s so small, it doesn’t matter. So let go. Your boss shouts at you, well guess what? It doesn’t matter. Just let it go. Forgive your boss and release the negative emotions to the universe. Breathe and believe. Believe that everything will work out for the best. Always accept whatever outcome as the perfect outcome and let go. Let go of old limiting beliefs. Let go of preconceived ideas of how things should be. Accept what “is” and let go. Don’t fight with life, Flow with life. Move with it, feel it, enjoy it.
“I accept that, although I don’t see how this situation is benefitting me right now, it is the perfect outcome. Everything in my life happens as it should. I surrender to what is and focus on what I want to create. I take lessons from this situation and I move forward in life a stronger more centred person.”
Negative thoughts and emotions will always be there no matter what. It is your REACTION to these negativities that can turn you into a positive person. You aren’t going to just decide to only think positive thoughts and then it happens. Your mind is far too used to being a problem solver. (The following idea derived from “Eat, Pray Love”) Instead you should think of your negative thoughts and feelings as neighbours. You may not like them, but you can all live in peace together.
So when anything negative arises just let it go, and move on with your life.
Some useful tips for staying positive and being happy:
1. FORGIVE EVERYTHING, you cannot move forward / feel happy / be light hearted / enjoy your life / live fully, unless you do so. Forgiving is so easy. All you have to do is be willing and then do it. Forgiving is not condoning what was done but rather letting go of it.
2. Use affirmations as passwords / domain names / e-mail addresses etc.
3. I love to use twitter to put my affirmations out into the universe. I also aim to inspire my followers with motivational thoughts/quotes/articles etc. My user name is Carla_is_love if you would like to follow me, I do follow back.
4. Choose one affirmation in the morning and make it your aim for the day to say it as many times as you can.
5. Repeat affirmations in “the waiting times” – waiting for a lift, waiting for the bus, walking down a flight of stairs, sitting in traffic, cleaning the house, waiting for the kettle to boil. There are so many of those “in between times” that we often use to think about what we need to do and how much work there is to be done. Rather be present in the moment. Bring your focus inside yourself and say positive affirmations.
6. Greet each new day the moment you wake up. I like to say;
“Good morning beautiful Universe. Thank-you for this wonderful day. Thank-you for the restful sleep I had. I trust today will be the best day of my life so far.”
7. Surround yourself with positive people. Start weeding out the bad influences in your life.
8. Stop watching the news. If something very important happens, I promise you will hear about it.
9. Spend more time in quiet.
10. Spend more time in nature.
11. Listen to uplifting music and allow your body to move how it wants to.
12. Breathe deeply as often as you can (take in the fullness of life).
13. Take joy in the small things.
14. Be gentle and kind with yourself (you are human after all).
15. Recognise the spirit within. Feel it, love it, be it. Appreciate yourself and the times you have alone. They are sacred times.
16. Acknowledge the connection between all things (we are all connected). When I see something beautiful I love to recognise that I am a part of it, I do so by saying “I am that”, and I close my eyes and feel the love connection.
17. Do what makes you happy. That is what the world needs most, people that follow their dreams and live their bliss.
18. Give more of yourself to other people. Nothing in the universe can make you feel as good as when you touch someone’s heart. Be careful not to short sell yourself. I am not saying you should run around after everyone. I’m saying do more things for other people that actually mean something. Write an appreciative note to a friend or send a stranger a gift. It is all the small, heartfelt, kind things we do that make us good people. Allow the feeling of giving. Pause on it and love it. Don’t expect anything in return. Give from the heart.
19. Remember that happiness is a daily goal. Enjoy seeking it and creating it. We must wash our mind every day just like we wash our bodies.
20. Accept everything that has happened in the past. It was your path you needed to travel to get here today. Your past does not determine your future; this moment now is what determines your future. This moment now is all that matters. Please read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.
21. When you are doing things, do them fully. Be present, embrace the situation, make the most of it, focus on it, and love it. And I mean everything, from cutting out a picture to doing a dance class. Embrace each moment as it unfolds.
22. There are infinite ways of bringing happiness into our lives, and the internet is a great resource. So when you are feeling down, and can’t pull yourself right, don’t feel shy to ask Google how you can cheer up.
23. Reading spiritual/self help books is a fantastic way to become motivated. Some of my favourite authors include: (but there are many, many more)
• Louise L Hay
• Doreen Virtue
• Iyanla Vanzant
• Eckhart Tolle
I hope this has inspired you today. My love and blessings to you.